can of worms

A few days ago in the wee hours of the morning/night, I started surfing the web instead of working on my UX project. As I got deeper into the fringe of the internet and YouTube, I somehow landed here. It’s a girl’s page titled ‘everyone has parasites’ that details the kind of havoc parasites wreak on your body with instructions on how to expel them. After reading, I decided 3 things.

1) I have parasites

2) I must do the cleanse now.

3) I will make everyone I know want to do it too.

I immediately signed up for an http://www.iherb.com account and bought the necessary items.

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psyllum husk powder, black walnut and wormwood complex, and bentonite clay

While waiting for my items to arrive, I’ve been obsessively reading blogs about other peoples’ parasite cleanses. By ‘obsessively reading’ I mean obsessively scrolling until I get to the descriptions about the passed parasites. It’s relieving, intriguing, and disgusting all at the same time. Then I get this knot in the pit of my stomach and hold my breath at the idea of possibly seeing a picture of someones’ passed parasites, but, deep down, I secretly really hope it’s there. When I do come across one, I’m initially overwhelmed with disgust but then an equal measure of satisfaction comes over me. It’s like watching someone pop a pimple. It’s gross but at the same time you can rest well knowing the nesty thingz are gone. Die wermz die!

So, here begins my written documentation of my own parasite cleanse. Unfortunately, even though I crave other peoples’ photo documentation, I cannot bring myself to dig through my own feces, clean off dead worms, and proceed to take a photo and publish it. Heck, I don’t even know if I can bring myself to look at my own poo.

I know. I’ve completely lost your interest now. However, I’m hoping that my sharing some of my symptoms/history and journaling about how the cleanse is affecting my health – good or bad will be of some interest and help to you with or without the dead worm pics.

My first post about the instructions and Day 1 will be tomorrow. I’m kind of really glad I’m starting this cleanse at the end of this year. It’s like a metaphor for all the bullshiitake I and a large collective had to take. Cuz les be real y’all, 2016 was some bullshiitake. Bullshiitake not asked for that had to be tolerated, because there wasn’t necessarily any other choice. Well, your time’s up, 2016. It’s time for me to throw that ish right back at you. Literally. (jk. I ain’t touching my poo, people!)

Here’s to ending the cycle of shiitake with a week of shiitake. Cheers!

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